"YOUR WRITING IS SIMPLY SPLENDID. IT WAS REALLY MOTIVATING AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING. WE LIKED IT. HENCE I INVITE U 2 SUBMIT YOUR PRECARIOUS WRITING AT OUR JOURNAL. "THE MIRROR OF TIMES" WHEREIN MANY PROMINENT WRITERS LIKE SMT. NABANITA DEV…"
Thanks for your time.What about if I write the first verse as;
Life is a charming word
it ends at an unknown time
and has a smaller dimension than is supposed
what difference is there between us
except the sorrows we meet?
"Yes, I like this piece, too. It has a wonderful simplicity, and finishes like a haiku.
I would only look to perhaps smoothing out the verbiage a little: I'm not certain you need the your's and our's in the first verse. Losing them in…"
"A poem through argument is not what I do not love to read. It is more relishing when it reflects desire for life however short the span of life may really be.
Dear poet, do you know simplicity is your treasure? And this for me is precious one.
Life is a charming wordit ends at an unknown timeand has a smaller dimension than is supposedwhat difference is there between usexcept the sorrows we meet?our life's diary has limited pages...your's is one grand day,our's last a few short years.our bodies meet under the groundbut we are different at the door of death.only our life dimensions are the samelittle butterfly,the rope tying us to lifeis as thin as yoursyou are obliged to be lostbut we are on an everlasting roadif only our hearts…See More
Thank you very much for your soft and sweet comment.
I feel you're right about the words 'pretension' and 'challenge'.I translated my poem from Turkish.I probably need more work.
I'm looking forward to…"
"Let your pen be soft and sweet. Let your pen be tender enough to write such lines
"As if all time would hide
In the beauty of this moment".
Show of strength is what I love not to love. I am rather in favor of silent smile of the…"
Garden's White RosesThe sun rays areOn the garden's white rosesReflections dance brush-likePainting white, yellowAnd pink coloursSo proud of themselvesAs guardians of innocence,They make no pretensionTo challenge beautyInstantaneous whispers of happinessRise from the rosesAs if all time would hideIn the beauty of this momentThe poet's pen is not strong enoughTo tell of their melodyThe roses know thisAnd smile to her silentlyFide ERKENSee More