Butterfly and Life

[Fide ERKEN]

Life is a charming word
it ends at an unknown time
and has a smaller dimension than is supposed
what difference is there between us
except the sorrows we meet?
our life's diary has limited pages...
your's is one grand day,
our's last a few short years.

our bodies meet under the ground
but we are different at the door of death.
only our life dimensions are the same

little butterfly,
the rope tying us to life
is as thin as yours

you are obliged to be lost
but we are on an everlasting road
if only our hearts could be as pure as yours!

Fide ERKEN

[Subrata Mukhopadhyay]

A poem through argument is not what I do not love to read. It is more relishing when it reflects desire for life however short the span of life may really be.
Dear poet, do you know simplicity is your treasure? And this for me is precious one.
Thank you again.
broteem

[Fide ERKEN]

Thanks Subrata for your kind reply.

best
Fide

[George W. Byers]

Yes, I like this piece, too. It has a wonderful simplicity, and finishes like a haiku.

I would only look to perhaps smoothing out the verbiage a little: I'm not certain you need the your's and our's in the first verse. Losing them in a simple re-write might add impact.

Well done!

[Fide ERKEN]

Dear George,
Thanks for your time.What about if I write the first verse as;

Life is a charming word
it ends at an unknown time
and has a smaller dimension than is supposed
what difference is there between us
except the sorrows we meet?
our life's diary has limited pages...
you have one grand day,
our life lasts a few short years...

But, since my poem has been published in some sites, it's better not to change the original form.
my best wishes
Fide

[SAPTARSHI DUTT]

YOUR WRITING IS SIMPLY SPLENDID. IT WAS REALLY MOTIVATING AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING. WE LIKED IT. HENCE I INVITE U 2 SUBMIT YOUR PRECARIOUS WRITING AT OUR JOURNAL. "THE MIRROR OF TIMES" WHEREIN MANY PROMINENT WRITERS LIKE SMT. NABANITA DEV SEN, SMT. ANTARA DEV SEN, SRI SUNIL GANGOPADHYA, SRI SANKHA GHOSH, SRI AMITAVA GHOSH, MR.N.V. SUBARRAMAN, MR.D.C. CHAMBIAL, PRADIP K. CHOUDHURY, PRONAB K. MAJUMDAR WILL DISPLAY THEIR WRITINGS. WE WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO SUBMIT YOUR WRITINGS AT THE SAID MAGAZINE @ Rs. 100/- [India] or $50 [USA] or £ 50 [UK] by subscribing the journal. ALL THESE ARE PROMINENT FIGURES ALL OVER THE WORLD AND YOU CAN HAVE A NICE EXPOSURE OF YOUR CREATIVE PURSUITS IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE THE SUBSCRIBER TO US.

YOU CAN SEND YOUR WRITINGS AT E-MAIL TOO:

[e-mail]

Your early responce is solicited.

Awaiting your positive feedback.

Saptarshi Dutt
Editor
(09433834481)

ALSO VISIT: saptarshidutt.blogspot.com

ADDRESS:

MR. SAPTARSHI DUTT
30, RAM KANAI ADHIKARY LANE
KOLKATA – 700012, WEST BENGAL
INDIA
(09433834481)

YOU MAY DRAW CHEQUE IN FAVOUR OF MR. SAPTARSHI DUTT.